The next case of the blues or depression came when I was getting ready to go to a barbque at a co-worker and friends house. I was worried about a former co-worker and boyfriend being there. I almost didn't go. The barbque was yesterday. I made up my mind to go and have a good time. Knowing he was going to be invited bothered me alot. And then I just told myself... the hell with it. These are my friends. So I went. And guess what? He never showed up. I worried for nothing. I am glad I did not allow it to keep me away. I had a good time. Good food, good fun, good friends.
A few of us even went out afterwords. We just stopped at a bar to hear a band that was playing. A band that was part of all of our pasts. We didn't even know was still together. That was a blast from the past. It was an OK time. Nice to get out for awhile. I miss going out sometimes. Other times I don't even care. Last night was one of those nights I could take it or leave it. I always have to be concerned if I go out and drink that I have to drive home. So it's hard to just drink one or two. Or just drink soda. I made it home safe and sound.
Today I am just trying to clean house and sort through things. Disposing of things I don't need. I start and I stop. I come back to the computer. Slowly getting things done. I want to purge so much from my life. I want a simple, uncomplicated life. I wish I could just move away sometimes and start over. Buy a beach house in florida. Open a book store and just enjoy life. Those are my dreams. I know Dreams do come true. I am working on mine.
Ok I need to get back on track... my cleaning, ridding my life of the junk. I am outta here.
Ciao for now.
~Diva'

1 comment:
Post a Comment