Single Solitary Midwest Lady that is lost in her own surroundings. An Iowa lady that loves the ocean. Very much stuck in her roots hoping to someday fly away to the Beach and stay there FOREVER!
Iowa Lady Loves The Ocean
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Sunday - Update
I know it has been awhile since I have been here. I have been dealing with alot of things lately. Health wise, personal wise, and just life in general. I haven't felt like laying my feelings out on here or even pretending to find meaning with my everyday life. I am tried of living this way. I have slipped into depression. I am trying hard to climb out of it. It's just not that easy. I have not felt good health wise for over 8 weeks. Going from dr. to dr. trying to figure out what is going on. I am having trouble digesting any food. So I have lost a significant amount of weight. Which leaves me weak with no energy. The drs. seem concerned but so far aren't pushing to have the test done sooner. I am tired of fighting to get anything done. I am just very tired period. Last week I had a colonoscopy. No polyps were found so that was good. But the dr. did find that the lining of my colon is extremely thin. So he took several biopsies. I have another tests on Nov. 28th. An upper GI with a scope to check the upper part of my stomach. And then I go back to the dr. Dec. 1st for the results on everything. I have no pleasure in eating anymore. I have to force myself to eat. If I was not diabetic I would not be eating at all. The pain and bathroom trips are just not worth it. Sometimes I wonder if the drs. aren't that concerned because I was overweight to start. That has quickly changed. Down now 39 lbs. and still losing. I am having to drink protien supplements 3 times daily now. So the weight loss might stop. I pray every night for strength to get through each day. I am going to work every day with the exception of the 2 hospital test days. I have frequent bathroom trips each day but I am dealing with it so I can work. And then when I come home I collapse - exhausted.
I have to ask my friends and family to bear with me through this. Hopefully the cause will be figured out real soon and I can have a normal life again. I am scared of the unknown at this point but I want to know what is wrong. I want to feel good again and have energy and feel like doing something besides sleeping. I want my LIFE BACK.
More when I feel up to it.
~ Diva
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