Tuesday

As we have moved into the month of November I am feeling so many different feelings. First coming into the Holidays. Remorse for my parents not being here. I miss them dearly every day but Holidays are so empty without them. I always take time to think back about family holiday time and smile and cry.

From the picture above  you can see I am missing my BFF and the beach. I really wish we could go to our favorite spot this time of year just once. Visit when there is less hussle and bussle. Less People. Maybe someday. I really do hope to someday be living there. So when I need my solitude I can walk to the beach and walk and walk and collect my thoughts. Regenerate. I always feel so good and relaxed at the beach. Like I belong there. I don't feel like I belong here at all. Ever. Not even when I am spending time with sister and her family. There is always that sense something is missing. But truthfully I think I have always felt like I didn't belong anywhere. Growing up, in my marriage, and even now. I don't feel that at the beach. Maybe that is why I crave it so much. I need to get past my fears and just move.

It's cold here in Iowa this morning. No snow just brisk cold air. No sun yet. It's early. I am just sitting here with my coffee reflecting. Feeling all kinds of emotions. I think i am going to throw on a jacket and take a short walk. Walks sooth my soul. Even when not at the beach.

Happy Tuesday!!!