Iowa Lady Loves The Ocean

Iowa Lady Loves The Ocean

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

I want to run away... far far away.

It has been a very hectic last 6 days. My brother is here from Idaho. He and his boys. We have been trying to sort through what was our life growing up. My parents are both deceased now. We have a family home and all the belongings to go through. A home I lived in all my life. With so many memories. Good and Bad. I have two brothers and two sisters. Two live out of state and two still remain here with me. It seems the two that ventured out of state to live their lives don't remember how it really was growing up. Or choose to have a selective memory about some things. It is driving me crazy. My youngest sister never even made it home 5 yrs prior to my mom's death. Came home for her funeral 6 yrs ago. And didn't come home at all for my father's funeral Nov. 05. So she didn't see my father after my mom's death but goes on and on about what a special relationship she had with my father. But had no communication phone or otherwise for 4 yrs prior to his death. But she is so attached to this and to that and wants this and wants that. All the things that we have built our memories on. We - being the three of us that remained here. The three that took care of my parents. My brother has come home to stake his claim on what he calls his. ( But he had not seen my father since my mother died.) He came home last year and refused to see my father. What a family. I wonder how people like that sleep at night. The youngest and the middle child. They got everything they wanted growing up. And now that our parents are gone they think they should still get everything. Well, I am executer of the estate so they are getting their eyes opened up. Neither is very happy with me at the moment. And I don't even care anymore. I lived here. I took care of both my parents. Why should I hand over my memories and the treasures I gave and shared with my parents to 2 people that cared less about coming home to see them even when they were dying. Why do they pretend to care now? I don't understand. Now their memories are fond and cherished. But before their deaths they couldn't come home and deal with things. It was easier to stay away. Than come home and talk it out. I am ranting here. I am just fed up with the fake feelings and the greed. It has been a rough 6 days with my brother staying at the family home showing no respect for anything there. Just laying around trashing the place like who cares. Well, I care. And I will be glad when HE returns home and we can go about cleaning up his mess once again. And move forward. After this visit I am sure He won't return. 24 hrs until life returns to normal. My rant is over.

- Diva'

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