Tuesday - February 28, 2006

I am back after a short break. Not intentional the break I mean. I have just been busy. I went back to work on Monday Feb. 27th. So I have only been back two days. First day back my boss notified me of my raise. I got a lot more than I expected. A big surprise considering I didn't even think I would still be working at this point. And then today he told us that we will be getting a $300 bonus because the company did well last year. First time I have ever received a bonus in the 11+ years I have worked there. It makes me wonder. Last spring they were telling us our jobs would be eliminated by the end of 2005. Believe me I am just fine still being employed. I like my job. And it will be hard to go somewhere and start over after 11+ years and make the comparable wage. So please God if you are listening. I am liking these surprises.And the best one would be if we were told our jobs are secure. I would give up the raise and the bonus for security.

We have had crazy weather lately. It's hard to tell if it's spring or winter. The last 4 days have been amazingly warm 50 degrees. No sunshine today. But all weekend and up until yesterday we had bright sunshine too. It has been great. It makes me long for Florida even more. Iowa winters usually suck. And the month of December was making it look like it was going to be a bad Iowa winter but January showed something different. And February was even better. Let's hope March is even better.

I am feeling restless lately. I want to do something with my life. I have the bookstore still in my mind. But I think I also want to get some training in some area. Probably medical. Like Medical transcription or Medical Billing or Coding. With that training I could get a job most anywhere. I am thinking I would really like to move. Not sure where. But I want some new scenery. Ideally Florida would be the first choice. Right now I am working on paying off some bills and getting more financially secure. Then the thought of moving feels better. So I would just have the basics to take care of. I think I could live pretty simply. I would like to try.

I have been doing a lot of reading in the last few months. I just finished "The 5th Horseman" by James Patterson. It was good but not as good as his last two. Now I am reading some good old fashion smut. " Lovers and Players" by Jackie Collins. Up until about two years ago I had read all of her books. Then I took a break for awhile. So this is kind of new after reading a steady stream of murder mysteries. Aw .. variety the spice of life. It Keeps things interesting. Maybe I will start listing what I am reading when I post. I am keeping track of all the books I read this year. I am doing much better this year so far. I read 14 books in the month of January. That is a lot for me. I go in spurts. I so love to read to relax.

I need to update my reading list of blogs here. I read a lot of different ones and enjoy them. I like bloggers that are pretty regular at posting. Even though I am so not one of those. I try and try but sometimes it's just out of my hands. I am sure everyone is like that at some point. Two of my favorites are http://www.willa.com and http://www.mugajava.com two very different ladies. Two great blogs. I need to get them added to my list. I have been reading them for a long time. I am very sad when Dee @ mugajava.com does not post for awhile. She has her own bookstore. And I love hearing about it. And she cooks some great stuff and shares the recipes with her readers. Willa is an avid reader and lists her reads and she also knits and is a cat lover like myself. If you are reading this check them out. You won't be disappointed.

I am going to stop here and go and watch Oprah. I will be back soon.

Ciao
~Diva


- Reading: Lovers and Players by Jackie Collins
- Last book read: The 5th Horseman by James Patterson

I am a BIG Kenny Fan

Thursday - February 23, 2006

... Go Inside Yourself ...

Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day...

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is."

- Mary Anne Roadacher-Hershey

~ The Beach ~

The Beach

My mind is on a sandy beach,
my body stuck in hell.
A salty scent burnt in my nose,
a secret I won't tell.
I'd be much happier elsewhere,
In a warmer place.
Take a look in my eyes,
You'll read it on my face.
I wish I were back there,
this location never home to me.
I close my eyes repeatedly,
the beach is all I see.
I feel it sifting through my hands,
and squishing through my toes.
No matter where my body is,
this is where my mind goes.

Bridget Bush

Sunday

I know it has been awhile since I have posted a personal message. And not always from lack of trying. The system sometimes does not work with me here and it prevents me from posting. I am hoping tonight I won't have that problem.

Here we are in the month of February. Where did the last two months go? I barely remember the New Year starting. And I am not sure how I feel the year is starting out. I think I feel numb. I am still working. I wasn't sure that was going to be the case. My job was due to end at the end of 05' but that has been extended. Hopefully until October 06'. So that is some what of a relief. Right now I am off on my part of my 3 month leave. ( I only work 9 months out of the year. 1 month off in the winter and 2 months off in the summer.) I go back to work February 27th. And I have no idea what I am going back too. I pray there will be work for us all. Spring is usually a busy time for us. And our department has been cut down to more than half it's usual size. So I hope we can all be kept busy.

My health seems to finally be in a holding pattern. I am doing well with the medicine. The weight loss stopped. That does not make me happy. I have battled a weight problem all my life so I would be very happy to lose more weight. Right now I am just concentrating on eating healthy and being able to eat and not having any problems after. I am doing much better. Now I need to get more exercise. I have been walking twice a day ( morning / afternoons ). But I think I need more exercise. I need to make the scale MOVE.

I was really hoping to have gone to Florida during this month. But that isn't going to be possible. My money situation will not allow it. So hopefully June or July for sure. Of course I can't go alone. I have to have my beach mate and sister. She is getting married this summer so we have to go and have BIG OLD TIME. We had a great time last time. Not sure we can top it. But I know it will be great just the same. That is a trip I will never forget. I miss my beach mate Ginger. It sucks living this far apart.

My life is getting back to normal as far as socializing again. Saturday I went out with friends to the movies. We saw "Final Destination # 3". It is not normally the type of movie I go for but I give in once and awhile and see something out of the ordinary. I wanted to see "Firewall" the new Harrison Ford movie. So maybe this next weekend we can see it.

I have been reading a lot the last few months. During January I read 12 books. I seem to be stuck on murder mysteries. Every once in awhile I throw in a romance or two. I am currently reading "Predator" by Patricia Cornwell. It has been kind of slow. But I am determined to finish it. I have the new James Patterson book waiting for me at the library. "The 5th Horseman". I hope it's as good as the last one "Mary Mary".

Ok I think I have caught up a little here. So I will stop. And I won't promise to come right back tomorrow. But I will try to come back soon.

Ciao for now ....


Diva in Iowa

Big Strong Girl ...

its not now or never
its not black
and its not white
anything worth anything
takes
more than a few days
and a long long night.

dont push so hard against the world
you cant do it all alone
and if you could
would you really want to ?
even though you're a big strong girl
come on, come on,
lay it down ~ the best made plans
come on, come on,
lay it down ~ are your open hands...

rest your head
you've got two pillows to choose from
and a queen-sized bed
hold out for the moon
dont expect connection anytime soon
feel the light
caress your fingertips
you have just begun
the word has only left your lips
maybe in time
you will find
your arms are wrapped around the sun.

dont push so hard against the world
you cant do it all alone
and if you could
would you really want to ?
even though you're a big strong girl
come on, come on,
lay it down ~ the best made plans
come on, come on,
lay it down ~ are your open hands...

Big Strong Girl ~ Deb Talan

If I accept the sunshine
and warmth,
then I must also accept
the thunder and lightning.

-Kahlil Gibran