Iowa Lady Loves The Ocean

Iowa Lady Loves The Ocean

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Book Junkie ... that's me.

This is so me.. a book junkie. 
I don't know where i got my love of books.
My mom had very few books.
She did read. But from a very young age I have loved books.
I remember go to the library a lot growing up. 
And I still do. I borrow a lot of books from the library.
But I still have tons of books around here. 
And a kindle fire too.
Yes, i am a self proclaimed book junkie.

I hope to spread the joys of reading on to my grandchild that will be born in October.
I believe reading gives us so much knowledge.
Readers are Dreamers, Doers, and Thinkers.

I wish this was my private Library. 

Monday, August 22, 2016

Monday ... I am not where I want to be.

Can I please work from here? 
My heart longs to be here. 
Someday my soul will be free and resting here forever. 
Until then I will make the best of the days ahead without my love the ocean.

Life goes on.
We work so we can eventually have the Joys we crave.

Peace be the Beach ... 

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Pain still resides....

Another sleepless night. A lot of pain again with my shoulder. Not being able to get comfortable. Pain shooting from my shoulder down my arm into my fingers. I was up most of the night. I had a pain patch on even used a topical pain cream but could find no relief until finally getting up out of bed and moving around.

So here is another day to tackle. I hopefully will be able to take a short nap later today. 
Currently 6 am. as I type this. Drinking coffee and listening to music on my prime music account. Hope this is a good day and i can get a lot accomplished. Seems once i am up and moving around my shoulder does not bother me as much. But a person does need to rest their body, mind and soul. You can't go forever on 3-4 hours of sleep a night. 

Tomorrow is Monday again. Already. Why do the weekends have to go by so quickly? There is so much to cram into those two days and it's just gone way too fast. I want a 5 day weekend and a 2 day work week. That sounds so much better don't it? Dream on Girl.  Dream on.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Peace Be the Weekend

The weekend is finally here. It seemed to take forever for it to come. Another long work week. And I truly just want to run away. Far away. This would be the perfect place. My home the beach. I want to just sit in the warm sun. Listen to the waves crashing on the shore. The bird as they frolic in the sky. And my heart as it beats with joy being so close to heaven. 

But it's another weekend in Iowa. What to do? Be lazy for sure. I may take a drive to town and browse the second hand stores. Not sure yet. No definite plans. Soon it will be football season and the games will be my focus. Hopefully I won't be working every Saturday by then. Such is life. Fall will be here sooner than we know it. I love fall season. Perfect time of year. 

Peace be the Beach for Me... 

Friday, August 19, 2016

Happy Birthday to My Dad in Heaven.

Happy Birthday Dad. I hope you and Mom are celebrating in Heaven.
I sure Miss you!!!  Not one day goes by that I don't think of you.
You are my Guardian Angel I know.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Stress ... I hate Stess

OMFG... It has been the worst week so far.  We had computer updates over the weekend. The Company I work for and nothing is working right.  This is the second day and it SUCKS!!! It is very difficult to do your job when nothing works right. You can't transfer anyone, you can't view documents it just is unbelieveable. Second day in a row finished the day with a migraine Headache. I pray tomorrow things are fixed and back on track. I hate stress. 
I really wish I just didn't care if things worked or not. It would make life so much easier.  But know I have to care. UGH!!!!

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Don't Worry Be Happy ....

I got to see my sister today for a short while. Visits are few and far between these days. Jobs, and Life get in the way. What can you do. With football season starting hoping that will change soon. Love time with my sister.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

Friday, August 12, 2016

Set my Soul free and then set it on Fire

My soul needs an adventure....
I think I long to be by the Sea... smell the salt air .. feel the warm sun. And feel alive again. I pray to go on that adventure soon. The plan is the end of September. Let the stars aline to allow this to happen. I need a renewal .. a wake up ... a tune up .. a change.  And i know i do deserve it.
To the beach .... 

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

In the Darkness ....

In darkness and Light my soul cries out. No one listens. No one sees. No one cares. Go about your life. I am just one. One of many dying souls. Souls no one sees. Invisible souls. Crying from deep inside. Not wanting to hide. But no one cares. Live your Life.
mine means nothing.
Good bye.

Only like minded creatures can understand. They are lost and lonely too.
Why can't all the lost souls connect and fix the broken and the lonely?
If lonely dark creatures could only find their mates.
What a difference it would make.

I would just like it to End...

Tuesday, August 09, 2016

Monday, August 08, 2016

Monday 08/08/16

A very rough night again with Shoulder pain. Awake a good part of the night. Nothing helps. I am so over this pain. 

Sunday, August 07, 2016

Sunday ....

Sunday Morning... One more day until the dreaded Monday. Why do the weekends go by so quickly. They never seem long enough. That's life. I hope I live long enough to get to enjoy retirement and there comes a day where there is no worry about a new work week. I would love days of just reading, blogging, taking long walks ( on the beach of course) afternoon naps. Eating whenever, sleeping whenever I felt like. I do some of that now but there is always Monday looming overhead. 

I must say I think If I was happy in my job I would feel so much different. I had a job for 18 years that I enjoyed waking up and going too. But companies change  and the department I worked in was relocated and I didn't feel I could justify the drive for the pay. I now realize I made a huge mistake. Hindsight is 20/20. And I know there would have been a lot of changes had I not retired from that job early. But I think I would have weathered them better with the friendships I had developed over the 18 years. My current job allows me to work at home. But it is a highly stressful job. And the company has no respect for it's employees. I will be with this company 2 years on 08/18/16.  And sad to say I am on the hunt for a new job. All the jobs I have had in my life have been long lasting ones. Prior to the last job the one before that I was there 18+ years. 

A lot to accomplish today. And so little ambition to do it. Another very restless night last night. I am having so much pain with my shoulder. I do pretty well during the day but at night when I lay my head down to rest the pain becomes unbearable. Even with pain medicine. Around 3 a.m. it gets to the point I have to get out of bed. Some nights I just sit and cry the spasms in my shoulder and arm are that extreme. I have seen the MD. But she said I have to go through 6 wks of PT before she can order an MRI. Good Lord. I want to cut my arm off now. Tomorrow I am going to call the PT place I have gone to in the past and try to set something up that will match with my current work schedule. My schedule is crazy sometimes. It's not going to be easy. I may just have to use some hours of PTO. The job does not like that.  Oh well. Then adjust my schedule instead of swinging in from day to day. Set at one time and leave it. I can start my day between 7-8 a.m any given day. So tomorrow I start at 7 a.m. the next day it maybe at 8am.the next day maybe 7:45 a.m.  Why can't I work a straight 7:30 -3:30 so that I can schedule appointments.  PT closes at 5 pm. it's a 20 minute drive. A session is an hour. Nope can't make an employee's life easy. They SUCK!!!

Major Chores today Included but not limited too:

Clean cat litter boxes and refill
Do Laundry
Clean the bathrooms 
Clean the Kitchen 
Scrub the floors
Repot Plants
Sweep the porch 
Change sheets on bed

I think that covers my tasks for today. Nothing unmanageable except if you have a left shoulder that is killing you. So I will take some pain meds and " Get ER Done".

Hopefully if I can get all of that done I can reward myself with a few hours of reading time. I am currently reading "Trouble Maker" by Linda Howard. And I have a big stack of books to be read from the Library. Which means I better get busy. I need to run by there today. I have a movie I requested available. 

That is my life in a nutshell for today. I better get busy. 
Have a blessed Sunday.

Saturday, August 06, 2016

40 Years ...

So many emotions today.  It has been a very draining day so far. Today is my class reunion. 40 years. That is a long time ago that I graduated from high school. And even today I seem to be feeling much the same feelings as I did in High School. I never fit in. I never was popular. Never hung out with the popular groups. Never involved in clubs, sports, etc. I was just there. I am surprised that some people would remember me. I still live in the same town. I still see a few Classmates now and again. And of course several are on my FB friends list. A few I wish I could see again are gone to heaven.

 The reunion is a two night event.  Last night and tonight. I saw on FB a photo of a few that showed up last night. Some I did recognize well most I did. I do wonder if more will show up tonight. I am curious but I am not sure I am curious enough to show up. I bet if I did show up they wouldn't even know who I was. And maybe that would be a good thing. I don't know. I wish I had made arrangements to meet one of my friends there. It would be a lot easier to walk in with someone that to walk in alone with the fear no one would even notice me. The meetup is at one of the bars in town. 

Last night's event was at the bar and pizza parlor. I should have gone there. At least I could have pretended I was coming in for a pizza. Tonight's Bar is a old place that was just recently re-opened. I am not much of a bar person anymore. I don't drink and I haven't in years. I used to drink a lot. But I guess I grew out of it. Thank god. Which is a good thing it was not taking me any place good.

I don't really know what is holding me back here. Fear I guess. Fear of the unknown. Fear of no one knowing who I am. Fear I am still a wallflower that no one cares to talk to. And what if all those things are true. I am a grown ass woman and no one that shows up tonight is going to matter enough to change my life. I don't even know if it's worth the curiosity.

In fact I think I will just pass and forget about it. It's not worth anxiety and stress. If any of those people wanted to see me they could find me and talk to me or would still be in my life. I have made up my mind. Skipping the fiasco. Let the party go on without me. 

Life will Go on!!! 

Friday, August 05, 2016

Robin Williams what can say. He was great. Gone too soon. His Humor and wit lit up the world. I love his work. I have always heard that the funniest people carry a deep dark sadness inside of them. It seems so true with the people I have met in my life. It is such a waste to lose someone with so much to offer. And with a HUGE heart. I hope he knows he is still touching so many hearts here on earth. Gone but never forgotten. 
RIP Robin.
You will live forever in our hearts like "Peter Pan".

Thursday, August 04, 2016

I have always believed that the best things in life are free. In today's busy world it's very easy to forget. Instant gratification from all the material things we purchase. Happiness can be found in moments with family in friends.  Those moments around the table where conversation just flows about everything and nothing at all. Just being with people that make you laugh, maybe even cry from laughing so hard.

Life is truly what you make it. We all need to get back to the simple things in life. Quiet moments where we share conversation. Walks with our pets or a friend. Conversations around the table. A quick phone call to say "hey i was just thinking of you." A smile to that stranger at the grocery store. So much Joy to be found in the Simple things.

Do things that make you happy. Smile and share just that with a stranger each day and see how it makes you feel. How it can turn your day around. A kind hello. To a stranger that may brighten their day more than you could ever know.  I know some might look at you in surprise because you don't see that much anymore. In our rushed daily lives Happiness is in the little things. Reach out and grab it everyday and notice the difference it makes.

Go out and have a Great Day. Smile and share your Joy with a stranger.

God Bless!!!

Wednesday, August 03, 2016

Isn't this a beautiful Photo? An amazing sunset. Most people that know me know that I love the Ocean and the beach. And I am truly a misplaced Mermaid. I grew up in the Midwest so far from the beauty of the coast. I will never forget my first trip to the beach and I how I felt when I looked out on that vast body of water. Something in my Soul just cried out. This is Home. I belong Here. Well, that was over 15 years ago. Up Until last year I had visited the beach once a year. Last year I could not do it for health and family reasons. And I have felt off kilter every since. Say what you will but that yearly trip to the ocean would renew my hopes my desires, Give me reasons to plug along with my life. I robbed myself of a yearly life renewal, That is how I feel about not going. Nothing has been right. My life is a mess. My health has become such a mess. I need to go back and spend my week by the Sea.  I will do everything I can to get there this Year. I have vacation time in September and I am praying that my best friend and I can make that trip back to my heart's home. 

Do you have a place that you feel makes you feel at peace? A place you return to often? It can be a place you visit daily, weekly, yearly.  Share with me please. I would love to hear about it. 

My heart will forever be free near the Ocean. 

Tuesday, August 02, 2016


I do know how true this statement is. 
Lately fighting depression and illness and not feeling worth very much. I am feeling robbed of happiness. It is so easy for a person to wallow in sorrow. To do the woe is me. It's all about me thing. I think it becomes easy to fall into that mindset if you tend to cut yourself off from people and are not getting out.

 I work at home and I do love that. But I think it tends to isolate a person so much it can become hard to go out among people just to do ordinary things. Like grocery shop, or even visit friends and family. I am finding it's very important for me to stay connected and make myself go out. Even if its just for groceries. A few times a week. Even for a few hours.

So i push to go out for a walk in the Mornings before I sign into work. To make weekly trips to the library. Do weekly grocery shopping. And then try to connect with family or friends on the weekends if I am not working. 

You have to take control of your life and sometimes push yourself to get out and do things that make you happy.  Happiness is an Inside job as the saying goes. You are in control of your happiness. So get out there and "Live, Love, and Laugh".  Life is too short not to be happy.

Peace and Love to All